Meet the Board: Robin W.

These are my twins, Wren and Grayson:

At 26 months, their senses of humor are really starting to stand out. I took this picture about a month ago while we were eating lunch. My son has a tendency to get down from his chair, and he took me literally when I said, “Get on your chair, Bubba!” His sister joined in the fun without missing a beat.

They seem like pretty typical two-year-old goofballs to me, which is why I’m always surprised when I’m asked the fourth or fifth most common question of parents of twins: “Were they natural?” (The most common question, of course, is, “Are they twins?” Next, unless the inquisitor has any common sense at all, comes, “Are they identical?” And then, “Were you surprised?” (I hate that one, actually. What exactly are they getting at?) And then, occasionally, “Were they natural?” I keep wanting to fire back a sarcastic response – “No, mostly plastic” – but my wit usually catches up 30 minutes after the conversation is over.

I will never forget the morning of May 24, 2008. I went for a walk before our IVF embryo transfer appointment and thought about how many embryos to transfer. I’d already had a singleton and knew how difficult an infant could be. Was I prepared for the chance of twins? My final thought was that I’d have far more regrets if I transferred one and the cycle failed than if I transferred two and had twins.

Here are my twins about 39 weeks later, a day or two after they were born in February 2009:

Looking at pictures from the first few days always makes me a little emotional, a little nostalgic. But doing so also gives me heart palpitations and a little bit of post-traumatic stress from the memories of the first three … no, six … no, twelve months. Having twins has been hard. Rewarding, yes; hard, YES. Occasionally, I’ve second-guessed that May 2008 decision, but I wouldn’t undo my Wren or my Grayson no matter how bad a day I’m having.

This is my older son, Soren:

 

Being a big brother to twin siblings pretty much turned his world upside down after seven years of being the center of his only child universe. In those early months, when the babies took 110% of our parental attention, it was good that he was old enough and independent enough to entertain himself. By the time they were about nine months old, though, we realized he’d gone a bit feral and had to start redirecting more of our energy to him. He’s mostly recovered.

Finally, this is us, Robin and Gary, the parents of this crazy crew:

 

We’ve mostly survived the last 39 weeks and 26 months of our twin experience.  Mostly.

Being a part of Full House MoMs & Dads has been, hands down, one of the best parts of being a twin mom. Through the club I’ve learned invaluable tips like how to shower with infant twins in the house. I’ve laughed at others’ sarcastic responses to the questions we’re asked by strangers in the library or the grocery store. I’ve scored great deals on a used play kitchen and tricycles. And, best of all, I’ve made great friends, friends who understand what I’m going through, friends who also need to get away for a drink now and then, friends who don’t hesitate to grab my son’s arm as he careens down the hiking trail because they know I’m wrestling with my daughter 20 feet back. Sometimes I think there is nothing “natural” about trying to meet the needs of two same-aged children, let alone handling another sibling and the general demands of a family and life; but being in a community of people who understand my struggles makes it all the more manageable.

Robin W.

2011 FHM Social Co-chair

“Natural” Mama to Soren (8/01), Wren & Grayson (2/09)