A Father's Unique Adoption

In the fall of 2005, as the nights were getting cooler and the leaves were starting to change, I fell in love with Gary. He was tall, smart, funny, sarcastic, thoughtful, and about 30 other adjectives (all jotted down in an orange Moleskin notebook, of course) that signaled the end of my single mom day. I invited him over one evening in early October to meet four-year-old Soren. They briefly shook hands and then settled in to watch an uproariously funny (at least to a couple of boys) episode of America’s Funniest Home Videos. Little did I know, the relationship between Gary and Soren that started that night would grow and deepen just as my own relationship with Gary was growing and strengthening.

I can’t imagine a present-day Soren without six years of Gary in his life. How would his interests and skills have developed without Gary? Would Soren have developed an interest in aircraft without a stepdad who worked in aviation? Would he have learned to explain how an internal combustion engine worked before the age of five? Would he have an encyclopedic knowledge of World War II? Would he know and use the “English” words “trainers” and “windscreen” instead of “tennis shoes” and “windshield” without an English stepfather?

                                                 

Gary has taught Soren about aircraft. He’s taught him to golf. He’s spent hours with him building rocket ships out of plywood and assembling model airplanes and rockets (and then loosing them on unsuspecting neighborhoods near the parks and fields where they launch and fly them). He’s taught him about inertia and the Mars Rover and material composition and model aircraft. 

Sure, there have been some less than heart-warming moments. Soren still refuses to laugh at the time Gary forced our picky eater to try a tomato. Maybe with time that wound will heal. So far, it’s not even helped by the memory of when new-dad Gary let four-year-old Soren have a chocolate pudding cup for breakfast thinking it was just another yogurt.

I am thankful every day that Gary came into my life and into Soren’s. Meeting Gary makes me believe that things happen for a reason, that they happen the way they’re supposed to happen. I can’t imagine Soren being Soren without Gary in his life. And without Gary in his life, Soren also wouldn’t have his younger brother and sister. He wouldn’t have the life we’ve built together.

Today is our Warnerversary, the one-year anniversary of Gary adopting Soren. One year ago today, the man that had raised and supported and loved Soren for five years officially became his father. We celebrated last year with chocolate cake. The two of them will celebrate this year with a night of laser tag and a dinner out. I will spend some quiet time at home being grateful for things working out the way they did, being grateful for an amazing husband and father to all three of my children.

Robyn W.

Wife to Gary & Mom to Soren