A Dad's Perspective on Making it Work at Home

I work a compressed work week. This means I work Sunday through Tuesday night and every other Saturday night. At first I thought this was going to be a bad deal for my family, all I could think about were the things that I would potentially be missing out on. I never thought about the one on one time I would be able to have with our kids on my days off. I have talked to a couple of other parents who work a similar schedule to mine and have their kids in day care for their days off. This was not a thought that ever went through our minds, and I am glad this plan has stuck.

         
My first week home alone with our kids was an eye opening experience to say the least. They were 6 weeks old, my wife was finally feeling well enough to go back to work and it was my time to grab ahold of the reins by myself.  I was in our bedroom changing my daughter while talking to my brother in law (who works at the same place I do) on the telephone. He was checking in seeing how my first couple of days by myself with the kids was going. I was telling him about all of the cute things they are doing and how it’s a lot of work but it is definitely worthwhile. I turned from my daughter on the changing table to grab a diaper, holding her feet up and making sure she was not going anywhere. Suddenly my side turned a bit warm and I thought that was odd. Well she apparently was not done with that diaper yet and decided to unload all over my side and most of the bed. The first thought that came to mind was “how can such a beautiful girl make that much of a nasty mess?” Having my brother in law on the phone did not help things much since he heard a reaction out of me and asked what was going on. Not thinking I told him and the laughter ensued, and continued for a while later once I was back on shift at work.

When my wife was pregnant with the kids I would often put music on in the living room while she rested on our bed. Apparently the kids enjoyed it because they would be having their own dance party going while the music played. Their enjoyment of music has not passed and I am happy about that. Listening to them sing songs that they hear, and making up new ones is always entertaining. From the Lullaby song, to Super Why they love them all. 

Our family enjoys riding ATV’s at the Oregon dunes recreational area in North Bend. Our kids love camping and it is now a much better time for our family than it once was. All of these stages we go through make us appreciate them a bit more. On our first camping trip we lasted one night, it was too early for us and none of us slept a wink. During their first summer we were away at the dunes every holiday weekend, and the sleep was still difficult but at least they slept through. Our daughter never had much of an issue going to sleep, but our son wanted none of it. Couple that with camping in a trailer together, it made neither of them want to go to sleep at night. It was cute watching them in their playpens and look at each other, and talk amongst themselves. We now go camping and it is a great time. We have toys for them to play in the sand with, there are all sorts of critters for them to check out, and the family experience is awesome for everyone.

Recently we found an inflatable bounce house for a good deal. I think we were more excited about this find than the kids were at the time. We rushed home to set it up and the first place it landed was in the front yard. Keep in mind when we bought this it was relatively sight unseen. Just bundled up into a Rubbermaid tote with a price tag. We rolled it out in the dark and got it all setup. The kids couldn’t believe their eyes, they had played in these before but this one was at their home. After that first night of playing with them in it, each morning brought the same question “I want to go outside, play in the bounce house,” so I would set it up for them and we would play outside for the rest of the day. One morning I went up and got my daughter ready for our day together, followed by getting my son ready. I went into his room and his usual request of playing outside was the first thing he asked me. I thought it would be fun to play a joke on him and ask, “What if it snowed last night? Do you still want to go outside?” Granted it was May so snow was out of the question (well at least in previous years). His response was, “Uh… YEAH!” Realizing that he did not quite understand my joke we got ready and headed outside. The next week my wife tells me that he keeps saying it snowed outside when they would go down the stairs. She didn’t understand where it was coming from. 

 One evening while sitting at home with the family our kids started talking about lady bugs in the kitchen. My wife and I both figured they were just pretending and kinda shrugged it off. This is when I learned that lady bugs come in all shapes and sizes apparently. The kids had found a spider. Not being a fan of little spiders (the big ones don’t bother me, but the little ones I believe are far more unpredictable) I decided to take care of the ladybug for them. Well I should have thought this out a little better, now no bug is safe from being squished by a shoe. We also learned that dad can’t fix everything.  Worms when broken apart are not fixable no matter how many tools dad has in his garage. This should make fishing this summer interesting though.

Working outside is something the kids have done with me since they have been able to crawl. It started out as them watching me work, either in the Beep Beep Jeep or the Johnny Jump Up but now they help out and that is a lot of fun. My daughter is a bit frightful of loud machines. The vacuum cleaner was her worst enemy until she was about 18 months old. My son doesn’t mind them, so recently when I was mowing the back yard I called him to help. He came over and I told him to hold onto the bar and help. We would get to the end of the row and I would show him where to stand to be out of harm’s way. Once we were ready to begin again he would come over and help. When we were getting ready to mow one day I grabbed a shovel and started picking up landmines. My daughter asked what I was doing and I explained to her. Now she is the dog poo police. She has also learned where to find bugs in the back yard. They are underneath the weeds that dad pulls. This turned into a good deal for me. She wants bugs so she pulls weeds. The worms are a favorite, but beetles are even better in her eyes. The first time she came to me with a beetle asking what it was, I was surprised she was holding it. Not that it would hurt her but they are a creepy looking unit.

Our kids will be celebrating their 3^rd birthday September 6^th. They have taught me as many things as I have tried to teach them. We have a relationship that many fathers don’t get to experience with their children. I value this more than anything. We have a great time together, fixing things around the house, finding bugs in the backyard, learning that the air vents in the car are not a good place to put change, finding out how to get said change out of the air vents, and many more that I will not bore you with. Cherish your time with your family. In our time of running around, trying to take care of everything, make them your number one priority. These are the times that the family will all remember. 

Mark C.
FHM Husband to Tiffany, Dad to Cami & Ty, 2.5 years old