A FHM friend of mine posted on facebook today: "I wish people wouldn't ask my twins which one of them is the "evil" twin." Nice, right? What's the strangest or worst comment you've received about having multiples?
I have to name only one? Worst thing anyone ever said to me was, "I'm so sorry, you are living my worst nightmare". My girls were maybe 1 month old. I was horrified. Dumbest thing anyone had said to me (girls were drinking water from their sippies in their stroller at the mall), "Wow, they even get thirsty at the same time?" Seriously people?
We're a two-mommy family and that helps bring out the crazy in strangers. "Which mom do the babies prefer?" is my reigning (least) favorite, asked by a grandmotherly lady in a doctor's office. We also get "do they have the same dad?". I don't think people appreciate how difficult it would be for them to have different dads.
I had a doctor who was scheduling me for an upcoming surgery ask me about my activity level, I said "well, I have twins" and he shuddered and said "I can't imagine." I said "I actually love it! It's the best thing that's ever happened to me!" he said "oh I find that hard to believe, sounds awful!" I got a new doctor. Everytime I see a family with multiples my heart lights up. It's tough at times but feel so very lucky.
My favorite was when my twins were about 10 months old and I pushed them into a liquor store in their double stroller and the old dude behind the counter asked, "Were they born vaginal?" Who has a conversation about birth, vaginal or otherwise, with the dude working at the liquor store?!
boy/girl twins. I get, are they identical? all the time. I've been so frustrated a few times, especially with people who should know better, that I've said "one has a penis, one has a vagina, what do you think? So, my comment is probably the worst!
several people (even friends!) have told me, "I would never want to have twins". I really get tired of the "are they twins" (especially given that they are identical) and "you have your hands full" comments.
My daycare director asked me just last week which twin was my favorite. Rather than tell her the question offends me I tried to turn it in to a joke and said with a laugh "whichever one is not crying" :)
Are they "natual"?. How in the heck do you respond to that! Of course I knew "the question behind the question" but if a perfect stranger dares to ask, at least stop and think before asking!
It still amazes me how many people don't know what "identical twins" means. We have found that if we refer to them as "matching" fewer people as if they are boy/girl!
A woman saw me at a play area with my 5-month-old twins and 2-year-old son and said, "If I had your life, I'd work full-time!" (I work part-time and love my days home with the kids.)
A woman approached me when I was walking with my twins in a stroller and told me she'd always wanted twins. She worked in a nursing home and, since she wasn't able to have twins, she said, she would dress the residents in matching outfits to look like the twins she always wanted. Yikes!
Knock on wood I have never had any rude comments from people, stupid comments, but never rude. My favorite though are the ones when people state the obvious for me. I have frat b/b twins, one with straight hair and one with curly. After we get through all the particulars..."Are they twins" -yes (I used to respond with: no it was have one get one free at the hospital) "Fraternal" -yes "Wow, one has straight hair and one has curly" And sometimes they will go even further and say "Must be real easy to tell them apart" Seriously! How do you respond to that! Come on people, here is your sign!
I have b/g twins and my general MD actually asked if they were identical. How does one get through med school and not learn the answer to that? I switched doctors after that comment. :-)
I have identical b/b twins. When one is not smiling I often get the question is he always sad/angry/mad and is the other one always happy? Then they see their older brother... what an awful life you must have I hear? Thanks but we really enjoy our kids they are all a blessing to us!
I rarely get rude comments, its mostly gawking and stares and humorous questions...lately lots of people have been asking me if I knew I was going to have triplets (like when I went to the hospital to deliver)...do people not know that ultrasound is used to determine gender (and tell if your babies' kidneys are working, if their heart is ok, it could even see the hair on our babies' heads etc), do they think that this same machine can't tell how many humans are inside of me?...going out with multiples is never dull with all the amusing questions people ask!
I think the questions that begin to probe into how you care for the babies get to be a bit much...for example, "do they sleep in the same crib?", "you don't breastfeed them both do you?", "do you get any sleep?" (when I answer no they seem horrified). But, what really bugs me the most is the constant barrage of "are they twins?" as they sit side by side in a stroller wearing matching coats and appearing almost exactly the same size (they are fraternal), and the alternate comment "boy, you sure have your hands full." If I had a penny for every time I heard those comments I would never have to go back to work!
As I was stressfully in the middle of holding up everyone in the Phoenix airport security line I got to have the best stupid conversation of my life (so far) with twins.
Random TSA girl: "ohhh you have twins?!" Me: "uh, yup sure do" TSA girl: "oh man! I've got you beat though...my grandma had twins, my mom had twins, my cousins are twins...blah blah blah" Me: "Oh do you have twins too?" TSA girl: "No, not yet, but when I get pregnant I will"
Our twins are not born yet, but we have already had a few funny ones. My favorite was when my brother-in-law asked if they were going to be "maternal" to which I replied, "Yes, they definitely have a mom!"
I have fraternal girls---one quite a bit smaller than her sister, due to some health issues at the time. At about the 6 month mark I got asked more than once: Random stranger: "twins?" Me: "Yup" Random Stranger:"Are you sure??? That one is a LOT smaller." ummmm, yeah. Pretty darn sure.
If not that, then it was looking right past the identical pink floral dresses to say "Oh! A boy (pointing at my bigger decked-out-in-pink twin) and a girl? (pointing at the littler matching twin)". Ok, sure. It's easier than arguing.
My daughter was 16 months old when I had my twin girls. Two weeks before delivery a concerned mother of two asked if I was going to be able to handle it. "Sure!" I said, "I can't wait for them to arrive." She responded, "Maybe you should put your toddler in foster care for a year, so you don't get too overwhelmed. There are a lot of nice foster parents in our county." Believe me, she was not kidding.
I don't mind, "Do twins run in your family?" I answer yes, as my mother was a twin, my brother has twins, my great grandmother was a twin and my cousin has twins. I do mind the sometimes follow-up, "So then you didn't do that in vitro thing then?" I also think the, "I had my kids less than a year apart and it's just like having twins," comment. I love the sweet smiles from people and the majority of the time the comments are not bothersome at all. The gawking is weird. I don't know how Kelly does it with triplets. I always want to say that if you are going to stare at them for this long can you at least smile a little? The smiles are sweet!
I was trying to get my boys into some early childhood development classes due to my feeling they were behind. My good friend asked me how it was going. I told her that Noah qualified but Avery did not. She said " Yes he does cause all premature babies qualify." I said "THEY were full term." She asked "Both of them?" All I could do was stare.
Having triplets, we attract a lot of attention. Some of my favorite comments include, "you have 3 twins?", "how close in age are they?", "did you have triplets on purpose?", "how do you feed 3?", "I would kill myself if I had triplets!"
So I had to add the conversation I had with a woman in New Seasons the other day when she came across me with the twins in a stroller and my 3 year old walking beside me (actually, it probably wouldn't qualify as a conversation):
Woman: wow, you've got your hands full. me: yep, I sure do. Woman: I don't know how you do it?! me: mmmmm Woman: (STARING at me and boys) but, look at you, your hair is done (in braids, but who's counting), you have make up on, and none of their faces are dirty! Amazing! me: uh, yeah.
I suppose I should take her comments as a compliment to my parenting, but it just seems wrong that we are suddenly supposed to accept being scrutinized to such a degree just because we dared have more than one child at a time!
does anyone else get upset when people compliment just one of their twins and not the other? i get it all the time...people tell me how beautiful and adorable my daughter is and then follow up with "oh, your son is cute to, don't get me wrong but your daughter is just beautiful". or they will say "your kids are so cute, especially your daughter". i happen to find both my children to be equally adorable!
For whatever reason the aiport security line seems to bring out the best in people.....at the time my g/b twins were 7 months and my older son 3 years. Stranger behind us: Are all those yours? Me: Yes. Stranger: Who is the oldest? Me: Our son (I point to him meanwhile trying to strip everyone down for the secruity scanner) Stranger: Who is next? Me: Well, these two are twins but our daughter (pointing to her) was delivered first. Stranger: But how could they be twins? One is a girl and one is a boy. Me: Ignore her ignorant comment and focus on getting 3 kids through the security line before I let myself say an inappropriate comment. The ironic thing is if the delivery/questioning had been better (or as another person mentioned, if it was said with a smile), I probably would have answered in a much different manner....
I have to name only one? Worst thing anyone ever said to me was, "I'm so sorry, you are living my worst nightmare". My girls were maybe 1 month old. I was horrified. Dumbest thing anyone had said to me (girls were drinking water from their sippies in their stroller at the mall), "Wow, they even get thirsty at the same time?" Seriously people?
ReplyDelete"Are they man-made?".
ReplyDeleteThis was asked by a doctor the day after I found out I was having twins. I had no idea what he was talking about or how to answer.
"Did you shave her head so you could tell them apart?"
ReplyDeleteI have fraternal twin girls. One was born with a mop of hair and the other was born fairly bald.
"Were they put in you?"
ReplyDeleteA nurse at the hospital during a non-stress test. Should have said yes and recounted a story of alien abduction...
When my boys were about 8 months I had a clerk at toys r us say "oh, twins. I am so sorry" I replied "I'm not!"
ReplyDeleteJulie was with me for this one (two sets of twins) the comment was "oh look, triplets"...
ReplyDeleteA mother of identical twins girls said to me "Your kids are twins? Boy and girl? But he is smaller than she is, what's wrong with him?"
ReplyDeleteWe're a two-mommy family and that helps bring out the crazy in strangers. "Which mom do the babies prefer?" is my reigning (least) favorite, asked by a grandmotherly lady in a doctor's office. We also get "do they have the same dad?". I don't think people appreciate how difficult it would be for them to have different dads.
ReplyDeleteI had a doctor who was scheduling me for an upcoming surgery ask me about my activity level, I said "well, I have twins" and he shuddered and said "I can't imagine." I said "I actually love it! It's the best thing that's ever happened to me!" he said "oh I find that hard to believe, sounds awful!" I got a new doctor. Everytime I see a family with multiples my heart lights up. It's tough at times but feel so very lucky.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite was when my twins were about 10 months old and I pushed them into a liquor store in their double stroller and the old dude behind the counter asked, "Were they born vaginal?" Who has a conversation about birth, vaginal or otherwise, with the dude working at the liquor store?!
ReplyDeleteboy/girl twins. I get, are they identical? all the time. I've been so frustrated a few times, especially with people who should know better, that I've said "one has a penis, one has a vagina, what do you think? So, my comment is probably the worst!
ReplyDeleteseveral people (even friends!) have told me, "I would never want to have twins". I really get tired of the "are they twins" (especially given that they are identical) and "you have your hands full" comments.
ReplyDeleteMy daycare director asked me just last week which twin was my favorite. Rather than tell her the question offends me I tried to turn it in to a joke and said with a laugh "whichever one is not crying" :)
ReplyDeleteAre they "natual"?. How in the heck do you respond to that! Of course I knew "the question behind the question" but if a perfect stranger dares to ask, at least stop and think before asking!
ReplyDeleteIt still amazes me how many people don't know what "identical twins" means. We have found that if we refer to them as "matching" fewer people as if they are boy/girl!
ReplyDeleteA woman saw me at a play area with my 5-month-old twins and 2-year-old son and said, "If I had your life, I'd work full-time!" (I work part-time and love my days home with the kids.)
ReplyDeleteA father of twins asked me if my boy/girl twins were identical! I get that a lot from people in public, but a father of twins?!
ReplyDeleteA woman approached me when I was walking with my twins in a stroller and told me she'd always wanted twins. She worked in a nursing home and, since she wasn't able to have twins, she said, she would dress the residents in matching outfits to look like the twins she always wanted. Yikes!
ReplyDeleteKnock on wood I have never had any rude comments from people, stupid comments, but never rude. My favorite though are the ones when people state the obvious for me. I have frat b/b twins, one with straight hair and one with curly. After we get through all the particulars..."Are they twins" -yes (I used to respond with: no it was have one get one free at the hospital) "Fraternal" -yes "Wow, one has straight hair and one has curly" And sometimes they will go even further and say "Must be real easy to tell them apart" Seriously! How do you respond to that! Come on people, here is your sign!
ReplyDeleteI have b/g twins and my general MD actually asked if they were identical. How does one get through med school and not learn the answer to that? I switched doctors after that comment. :-)
ReplyDeleteI have identical b/b twins. When one is not smiling I often get the question is he always sad/angry/mad and is the other one always happy? Then they see their older brother... what an awful life you must have I hear? Thanks but we really enjoy our kids they are all a blessing to us!
ReplyDeleteI rarely get rude comments, its mostly gawking and stares and humorous questions...lately lots of people have been asking me if I knew I was going to have triplets (like when I went to the hospital to deliver)...do people not know that ultrasound is used to determine gender (and tell if your babies' kidneys are working, if their heart is ok, it could even see the hair on our babies' heads etc), do they think that this same machine can't tell how many humans are inside of me?...going out with multiples is never dull with all the amusing questions people ask!
ReplyDeleteI think the questions that begin to probe into how you care for the babies get to be a bit much...for example, "do they sleep in the same crib?", "you don't breastfeed them both do you?", "do you get any sleep?" (when I answer no they seem horrified). But, what really bugs me the most is the constant barrage of "are they twins?" as they sit side by side in a stroller wearing matching coats and appearing almost exactly the same size (they are fraternal), and the alternate comment "boy, you sure have your hands full." If I had a penny for every time I heard those comments I would never have to go back to work!
ReplyDeleteAs I was stressfully in the middle of holding up everyone in the Phoenix airport security line I got to have the best stupid conversation of my life (so far) with twins.
ReplyDeleteRandom TSA girl: "ohhh you have twins?!"
Me: "uh, yup sure do"
TSA girl: "oh man! I've got you beat though...my grandma had twins, my mom had twins, my cousins are twins...blah blah blah"
Me: "Oh do you have twins too?"
TSA girl: "No, not yet, but when I get pregnant I will"
Awesome...you win! :)
Our twins are not born yet, but we have already had a few funny ones. My favorite was when my brother-in-law asked if they were going to be "maternal" to which I replied, "Yes, they definitely have a mom!"
ReplyDeleteI have fraternal girls---one quite a bit smaller than her sister, due to some health issues at the time. At about the 6 month mark I got asked more than once:
ReplyDeleteRandom stranger: "twins?"
Me: "Yup"
Random Stranger:"Are you sure??? That one is a LOT smaller."
ummmm, yeah. Pretty darn sure.
If not that, then it was looking right past the identical pink floral dresses to say "Oh! A boy (pointing at my bigger decked-out-in-pink twin) and a girl? (pointing at the littler matching twin)". Ok, sure. It's easier than arguing.
My daughter was 16 months old when I had my twin girls. Two weeks before delivery a concerned mother of two asked if I was going to be able to handle it. "Sure!" I said, "I can't wait for them to arrive." She responded, "Maybe you should put your toddler in foster care for a year, so you don't get too overwhelmed. There are a lot of nice foster parents in our county." Believe me, she was not kidding.
ReplyDeleteI don't mind, "Do twins run in your family?"
ReplyDeleteI answer yes, as my mother was a twin, my brother has twins, my great grandmother was a twin and my cousin has twins.
I do mind the sometimes follow-up, "So then you didn't do that in vitro thing then?"
I also think the, "I had my kids less than a year apart and it's just like having twins," comment.
I love the sweet smiles from people and the majority of the time the comments are not bothersome at all. The gawking is weird. I don't know how Kelly does it with triplets. I always want to say that if you are going to stare at them for this long can you at least smile a little? The smiles are sweet!
I was trying to get my boys into some early childhood development classes due to my feeling they were behind. My good friend asked me how it was going. I told her that Noah qualified but Avery did not. She said " Yes he does cause all premature babies qualify." I said "THEY were full term." She asked "Both of them?" All I could do was stare.
ReplyDeleteHaving triplets, we attract a lot of attention. Some of my favorite comments include, "you have 3 twins?", "how close in age are they?", "did you have triplets on purpose?", "how do you feed 3?", "I would kill myself if I had triplets!"
ReplyDeleteSo I had to add the conversation I had with a woman in New Seasons the other day when she came across me with the twins in a stroller and my 3 year old walking beside me (actually, it probably wouldn't qualify as a conversation):
ReplyDeleteWoman: wow, you've got your hands full.
me: yep, I sure do.
Woman: I don't know how you do it?!
me: mmmmm
Woman: (STARING at me and boys) but, look at you, your hair is done (in braids, but who's counting), you have make up on, and none of their faces are dirty! Amazing!
me: uh, yeah.
I suppose I should take her comments as a compliment to my parenting, but it just seems wrong that we are suddenly supposed to accept being scrutinized to such a degree just because we dared have more than one child at a time!
does anyone else get upset when people compliment just one of their twins and not the other? i get it all the time...people tell me how beautiful and adorable my daughter is and then follow up with "oh, your son is cute to, don't get me wrong but your daughter is just beautiful". or they will say "your kids are so cute, especially your daughter". i happen to find both my children to be equally adorable!
ReplyDeleteYes, I've had another mother of twins tell my kids which of them is her favorite. This person has done this many times.
ReplyDeleteFor whatever reason the aiport security line seems to bring out the best in people.....at the time my g/b twins were 7 months and my older son 3 years.
ReplyDeleteStranger behind us: Are all those yours?
Me: Yes.
Stranger: Who is the oldest?
Me: Our son (I point to him meanwhile trying to strip everyone down for the secruity scanner)
Stranger: Who is next?
Me: Well, these two are twins but our daughter (pointing to her) was delivered first.
Stranger: But how could they be twins? One is a girl and one is a boy.
Me: Ignore her ignorant comment and focus on getting 3 kids through the security line before I let myself say an inappropriate comment. The ironic thing is if the delivery/questioning had been better (or as another person mentioned, if it was said with a smile), I probably would have answered in a much different manner....